3 Steps in Letting Go

 

Ok, so the mom in me, for some reason, would always think about the song “Let It Go” of Disney’s Frozen every time I think about Letting Go. But, I guess, there’s a lot of truth to what Elsa was singing out loud –

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

I can just imagine you are singing in your mind while reading this. Anyway, think about it – everyone is free, we are all created free, living free, and supposed to find freedom everywhere. So if we are free, what stops us from doing something? What traps us from this state where we are in now? For me it’s all about choice, all about free will, doing things based on what you believe in, what you think is right or wrong for you, or simply how you just are. So why do we then let ourselves be bound of the things we have? It’s all about what we believe these things represent. These are the memories that made you feel good about an important event in life, an achievement you have been trying to reach since forever, or that one person who made you feel you are the queen of the world. There are so many reasons why, so I cannot just say (or sing) “Let It Go, Let It Goooo!” to any of my clients. By recognizing that these things around you represent a feeling, which has to go through a process in order to change, is already a good start. The start of understanding that another feeling sits on top of that hierarchy of importance in your life you call – purpose. Let me share a few steps with you, which hopefully will help you in finding part of this purpose.

Step 1 – Remember and Transfer

Things you have may or may not have an actual use for you at the present. You might find yourself wondering why you can’t seem to just say yes to letting go of something even if there really is no other reason for you to keep it. Try to remember why these things are important. If you cannot remember a certain event, then try to remember a feeling. Were you very happy when you bought this? Do you feel happy or fulfilled when you look at it? Or is this a remembrance of a sad or angry feeling that you want to remember so that it won’t happen again in the future? In reality, what we come up with is actually a feeling of expectation, an outcome that you expect from the feelings you have had before. Either a feeling of hope from the joy or success you felt will go on forever. Or the feeling of strength that will lead to a better quality of life in the future.

Once you finally remember that feeling, try to understand how you would like to treat it? Do you want that feeling of resentment forever? Or do you accept the fact that everything is bound to change? The joy that you have now, which is a blessing back then, will serve as inspiration for a greater thing in the future.

Once you do understand how to deal with it, there is an option of transferring that emotion. I always suggest writing it and sending it to your own email. This way, it’s easier to look for, and hopefully – will last as long as possible. But taking photos is also an option. This way your imagination will not have to work double time to remember how it really looks like. Nevertheless, transferring is only a tool in order for you to help you cope up with Step 3 later and be able to manage that gap or emptiness that you might feel in the future.

Step 2 – Understand, Accept, and Commit

Now that you have an understanding of the feeling a particular thing reminds you of, you have to understand the rationale for why you should let it go now. Is it because there is a realization that you think is more important? Do you think that letting go of a room full of clothes you have accumulated for the past 15 years is good now because you have a daughter who loves you dearly and would want you to move on? Have you strengthened your faith and found solace on a new concept of giving, where there are a lot more people who may need it more?

This understanding should lead to acceptance that now is the time, and committing yourself to it means that you found that courage to start the process. Take note, you are not letting go yet! You just found that courage to start. Take it easy. It’s never an easy decision, it always has to go through a process. A process of acceptance which will be different in length of time for every person strong enough to start.

Step 3 – Forgive, not Forget. Choose Peace All the Time

Finally, even before the act of letting go, you have to forgive yourself already. Forgiving yourself for the pain that it will be causing you after. Have peace in your heart that this understanding leads to an improvement of life and purpose. This process is a humbling experience that leads to the fact that there’s always something greater than us. And with that, you strive for greatness with your newly found purpose.

Forgiving and not forgetting are always partners in this process. The reason is that we are feeling beings. Our ability to remember gives us a basis for moving forward. It is a learning experience that helps us become better. As you forgive yourself with the pain, don’t forget whatever that thing stood for and how it became part of you. The moment that you let go, there will always be that gap with in you, that feeling of longing you want to solve by bringing that loss back. But as soon as you want to be able to get it back, try  reading or looking at the medium you have transferred these objects to, so that you can slowly adapt. Give yourself a time to grieve. And just like any gap in your life, a new joy will fill it up. It can either be an object or an experience. Travelling to see new places, or having new activities to meet new friends, or just finding a new purpose.

Choose peace all the time, peace with yourself and peace with the people around you. Once the process has been completed, you will find yourself smiling, not just because your home is cleaner now, or that you have more space to walk around in, but because you were able to do it without having to resent and binge back to whatever you have accepted to let go of. The success of any person is the success in overcoming their greatest challenge – overcoming oneself.

Thanks for reading!

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The One With the Lego Collection

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Here’s my very first playroom NeatProject. I initially asked my friend to send me the photos of the areas that she wants me to work on prior to me doing the project. I was so thrilled to receive photos of her kids’ playroom. More so, I was so happy to find out that her eldest is like my son who is also a Lego enthusiast. Their playroom already has well thought of pieces of furniture to showcase her son’s collection. Shelving units for the books and other toys are already available. It was just a matter of sorting and making sure that the kids can easily locate them.

I asked her to buy bins and boxes for us to be able to keep the toys properly stashed inside. With this, toys will not get dusty and dirty easily. This is a good way for kids to learn how to sort and pack away properly every time they finish playing. They would already know where their toys are. You don’t want to hear another screaming child asking where the other parts of their Tobots are, right?

Shelf racks to maximize the space.

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This is optional, but in case you’re thinking of organizing your kids’ toys in more detail, I sorted the legos and the books by colors too… 🙂

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I opted for the books to be arranged this way so that kids can easily find the book they are looking for.

Truth is there is really no hard rule in organizing. But, the things that you only need to consider is to how efficiently arrange the items so it will not be forgotten and neglected.

Have a Neat day! 🙂

 

 

The One With the Bookshelf

 

Motherhood is really tough. It’s never easy but always fulfilling. But sometimes, if not most of the time there are really some part of your life that you need to park because something more important needs to be done.

When I met Neri and learned about how she’s handling her family life, and how she’s managing her businesses. I can’t help but be amazed by how she’s able to do ALL that WITHOUT A YAYA for Miggy. Even more impressive is that when you are around her, she’s like this ball of positive energy with nothing but good traits in her pocket. 

She was one of the first few people that I told about this blog and I was so thrilled when she said that she’s excited about doing it with me. I told her that I wanted to do a before and after series and without batting an eyelash, she said she’ll do it with me because organizing some rooms in the house is one thing that she can no longer attend to. 

So here’s my first take on her Library. It was a spur of the moment thing, I was not to supposed to do it yet, but I told her I will try. I’m so glad she liked it, I hope you will too! 🙂

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Oh! and I got a husband review too… 😉

Thanks Chito!

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Have a Neat day! 🙂

Smart Parenting

The Perfect Gift for an Exhausted Mom 

by Din Real Bautista 

Neat Obsessions is different from the above cleaning services because it makes sure that everything in your house is well-placed and sorted by partnering with cleaning services to achieve this. It is ideal for the OC momma who doesn’t have the time to organize her cupboard or refrigerator, or those who want to make sure their home looks tidy and pleasing to the eye.

Link to full article

What’s in your Diaper Bag?

Having 3 kids, I’ve gone through a lot… a lot of diaper bags, that is. Having a 7, a 5 and a very new 1 year old baby led to a journey of bag discovery – the stylish but heavy and big Coach diaper bag, the very organized Jujube, the easy access Anelo.

From the mindset of “the entire nursery” inside the bag to just having the essentials… I think I’m now a “specialist”, not by design but by sheer trial and error in editing what’s inside mom’s most loved essential – diaper bags. 😅🙈

This particular skip*hop diaper bag is a combination of all my previous bags, it’s spacious, (super) lightweight, easy access, organized, fits right at the back and stylish (doesnt shout that it’s a diaper bag).

Finally, the one for me! ☺️ Swipe left to see what’s inside mine and why I need them. I’m saying “I NEED” because I salute moms that can go with their toddlers with just baby wipes in their bag, waaahhh how to be you, as in seriously, how? 😅♥️ #neatobsessions #ochits #octips #diaperbag

Storage 101

What are these for?

It comes in different shapes, sizes, and make – but with 1 purpose – to keep your things organized.

Some will say it’s a waste of money, but there are a lot of affordable organizers now in the market which will help you sort and organize like a pro. You can also use make-shift organizers (ex. Shoe/perfume/gift boxes) to tuck away your things.

Tip 1: if your storage organizer is exposed, then you have to make sure that you’ll still neatly display your things. It defeats the purpose if you’ll just put your things without arranging it nicely – it will still look untidy.

Tip 2: if you are the type of person who doesn’t want arranging things, then go for the “boxed” opaque type organizers with a cover so that you can just dump away and cover it making your space eye-sore free.

Tip 3: Style and Color matching. All your storages have to match the areas you will put these in. If its just the closet, then plastic would do. If these are located somewhere a lot of people will see, make sure it matches the look and feel of the shelving spaces or areas where you will put these in. If you feel like you don’t want to use plastic (although this is the most practical because it’s not too expensive, easy to clean, and lasts a long time), other options include metal mesh and cases and wood crates or boxes. Most stylish for me would always be the wooden ones but it tends to be very expensive and may not last as long if not treated. The metal ones are good, just make sure it’s not used inside the fridge or humid areas of the house. You don’t want these to be rusty and affect the stuff you put inside.

Tip 4: The size and shape – having the right size make it easier to stack or configure in where you want your storages in. So make sure the sizes and shapes are the same (for an area) and something that can be stable when placed inside an area.

Tip 5:  Make sure you add labels. This would make it a lot easier on what the contents are. In addition, try to have a whiteboard sticker where you can write the date last opened. This way you would know when you last checked the contents, cleaned it, and updated it. You will avoid those items which are already near expiry or check if the quality of the clothes/shoes is still good or if you need to put in silica gel to absorb excess moisture.

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You can use these organizers in your closets, kitchen, storage, dining, refrigerators, playrooms, garage, and almost anywhere you can imagine. I get thrilled every time I see different types of storages, especially the smart and easy to use ones. If only Manila has The Container Store, then I will be in that storage heaven almost every day!

So there you go, some simple tips for getting the right storages.  Stay Neat everyone, until my next post!