Can self-care exist without mom guilt?
As a mom of three school age children, I feel how hard it is to say yes to myself. With all the tangible and intangible things that my kids need, putting my needs at the back seat just feels right for me.
It doesn’t mean though that I don’t spend time with myself at all. Just recently, I committed to starting my day with Bible reading as meditation. I listen to a podcast too to help frame my mind for the day ahead. Everyday, I learn more ways to take care of myself, but I know I’m just not the type to go out of the house to spend time in facial clinics to pamper myself.
In fact, the last facial treatment I had was few days before my wedding. It was 11 years ago, and I didn’t even spend a dime for it! It was a free facial treatment from our bridal registry. After the wedding, I didn’t go back to a facial clinic simply because I didn’t see it as a priority. My skin is also highly sensitive, and the smallest discomfort on my face is enough reason for me not to go to a facial clinic or to reuse a product.
I am also a creature of habit in all the products that I use. I am not the type to try new things for my face. My skin care is just a two-step routine: facial wash and moisturizer. Going beyond those two steps is already a luxury for me.
Maybe these are things I got from my mom’s upbringing. She never wants to alter hair color, for example. For her, what’s natural is what’s best. So I’ve come to accept the changes in my body as they come. I must admit though that I notice a lot of changes that time brings to my face and body. Pimples pop out of my face before my period comes, and skin discoloration starts to become evident as well. I always say I need to see a derma but I never get to do it.
I always believed that there’s no urgency to skin care. However, when Luminisce called to ask me to try their services, surprisingly, I got the push I need to finally commit to self-care.
Dra. Kaycee’s process is more on listening, suggesting, and listening again. She’s not the type to make you feel judged, or force you into taking something you’re not comfortable with. With her, I felt heard.
She assessed my comfort level first. My readiness is important for her. Because I voiced out that I am not ready to try some procedures, she offered a milder alternative. She gave guidance rather than a mandate. While others would push you to do things for your skin all at once to achieve faster results, she was completely easy on me. She made sure though that she will focus on my areas of concern.
I had keratosis after I had Sabina, our third child. With my normal self who would never go out of my way to treat my skin, my solution was just to cover it with clothes! For me, if nobody sees it, then it’s not a problem, right? It doesn’t hurt me as well, so why bother? It took a while for me to really give the care my skin needs. While I can always cover my back and legs with clothes, I started to hope I don’t come to a point where I will have to cover my face before I realize it needs the treatment it deserves.
Needless to say, I am always self-diagnosing. I always say I don’t want to subject myself to unnecessary pain, no matter if we’re only talking about facial care. I’m also not sure what other people will think of me. Mom guilt is real! I also don’t want to catch me asking myself the question, “Why am I doing these things?”
In Neat Obsessions, I always share how important it is for a homemaker to be intentional. With this experience, I realized the importance of deeply committing to taking care of the self, too. What is one to two hours of me-time in a skin clinic in a month? If it’s not going to hurt your budget, your time, and your tasks as a homemaker, then by all means, go ahead! Self-care is a part of being intentional. Tucking in that routine for yourself is part of being intentional.
Part of being in control as a homemaker is making sure that you also look after yourself. I always find that it’s easier to give back or prioritize the things I need to do when I also give myself the amount of love I give away. When you understand your needs first, you can properly identify what the people around you really need.
My experience with Luminisce came with an assurance that they will take care of me. They are prompt in answering text messages, and all my questions are answered with what I am supposed to do. It was such a good experience for a first timer, and I’m already looking forward to my next session with them!
Self-care for moms comes with mom guilt most of the time, but just like in organizing,
Sort out your thoughts first,
Detach from those that take you away from taking care of yourself,
Rehome with a feeling of accountability for yourself and your well-being.
Stay tuned for an update of the treatments I got from Luminisce!